During Lent I was reading Mindful Jewish Living Compassionate Life. I was loving it and getting so much out of it. In fact, until this past week that was the last time I actually felt "good". Ok, minus going on the cruise with my brother which was GREAT!!!!
In early April I was at work reading some business book where the author was talking about "privilege". It so jumped out at me that the word "white" wasn't in front of it I posted on Facebook how stunned I was and how sick I am about all the white privilege talk. A flurry of comments happened some coming against me and then others going against them. It faded off the radar pretty quickly, until a few weeks later someone posted an article or two supporting the concept of white privilege. An old friend posted counter arguments and the volley lasted quite a long time. A friend of a friend posted on my wall what I considered a diatribe against what she thought I was saying. One friend who I look up to even posted that she thought Facebook was for sharing pictures. Truly I felt slapped. Especially when all I was saying was I am sick of hearing about white privilege. I do not think speaking of the advantages white people have had in terms of "privilege" advances the conversation. Words are significant. Why can't we speak in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive. That is all. I know I haven't had to jump through certain hoops black people have. I know that. And I am committed to not being the kind of person that creates those kinds of obstacles. So get off of me. I do want to give a shout out to a friend who did engage me in some private Facebook messaging, along with my atheist friend who wanted to hear my point of view even though she disagrees. Thank you.
So I have tried very hard to move on from this. At the same time being chastised publicly by my mother about not attending her sisters funeral, being told by her that I am not compassionate, having to deal with my feelings about my daughter and the direction I see her kids heading, being told by another family member that their marital status is none of my business, watching my sister try to stay afloat in a sea of unhealthy people, seeing my other sisters physical health rapidly deteriorating and not being able to do anything about it from 1000+ miles away and of course all those wonderings going on that I mentioned at the end of my last post.