Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Last Five Months-Part 3

During Lent I was reading Mindful Jewish Living Compassionate Life.  I was loving it and getting so much out of it.  In fact, until this past week that was the last time I actually felt "good".  Ok, minus going on the cruise with my brother which was GREAT!!!!

In early April I was at work reading some business book where the author was talking about "privilege".  It so jumped out at me that the word "white" wasn't in front of it I posted on Facebook how stunned I was and how sick I am about all the white privilege talk.  A flurry of comments happened some coming against me and then others going against them.  It faded off the radar pretty quickly, until a few weeks later someone posted an article or two supporting the concept of white privilege.  An old friend posted counter arguments and the volley lasted quite a long time.  A friend of a friend posted on my wall what I considered a diatribe against what she thought I was saying.  One friend who I look up to even posted that she thought Facebook was for sharing pictures.  Truly I felt slapped.  Especially when all I was saying was I am sick of hearing about white privilege.  I do not think speaking of the advantages white people have had in terms of "privilege" advances the conversation.  Words are significant.  Why can't we speak in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive.  That is all.  I know I haven't had to jump through certain hoops black people have.  I know that.  And I am committed to not being the kind of person that creates those kinds of obstacles.  So get off of me.  I do want to give a shout out to a friend who did engage me in some private Facebook messaging, along with my atheist friend who wanted to hear my point of view even though she disagrees.  Thank you.

So I have tried very hard to move on from this.  At the same time being chastised publicly by my mother about not attending her sisters funeral, being told by her that I am not compassionate, having to deal with my feelings about my daughter and the direction I see her kids heading, being told by another family member that their marital status is none of my business, watching my sister try to stay afloat in a sea of unhealthy people, seeing my other sisters physical health rapidly deteriorating and not being able to do anything about it from 1000+ miles away and of course all those wonderings going on that I mentioned at the end of my last post.


  1. I read your blog a little backwards at first, so my comment to this section is colored by having already read section 4. But, as a friend, I can say, I'm sorry for all the things that have made the last 5 months so difficult. Makes me think of what Jesus said about each day having enough trouble of its own and now Don's bike accident. But one thing I know about you and that is that you are resillent. I'm sorry that our theological differences have affected our relationship, but I'm glad that on some level we will always be friends and I will always care about what is going on in your life.

  2. One comment you made seemed especially significant to me, "Why can't we speak in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive.". Terms like "white privilege" seem like "name calling" to me. It does generate a response of defensiveness for some of us, and I too would like the conversation to get past such terms.

  3. Yup. Somehow that point was missed on most of the responders.